Let’s face it, it’s a vicious world we live in. You need to be prepared. You need to know how to look at shows, in your band, amongst friends and in social clicks a like. Here’s the low down. Take notes as needed:
What’s in for music:
Having two drummers in your band.
Having a girl in your band.
Not knowing what the singer is saying.
Being from Canada (illustrated below).

Having an animal in your band name.
Having a noun in your band name.
Wine (illustrated below).

Being gay.
Sounding and/or looking like The Beatles (illustrated below).

The 80’s.
The 60’s.
Silverlake (illustrated below).

Having more than 6 members in your band.
Being rail thin.
Having a quaver and/or crackling in your voice.
Having a beard (illustrated below).

Smoking on stage even though you aren’t “supposed to”.
Not showering.
Saying you like everything but country.
Saying you only listen to country (illustrated below).

Being an “activist”.
Hating Bush.
Being vegan or vegetarian.
Using weird instruments like “theremin” or “air organ” (illustrated below).

Using the most beat up old instruments one can lay a hand on.
What’s in for fashion:
Camo (illustrated below).

Plaid.
More than one tank top (illustrated below).

More than one skirt.
Big anal beaded necklaces and/or earrings.
Franz Ferdinand striped shirts (illustrated below).

The 80’s.
The 60’s.
iPods.
Pins.
Mustaches (illustrated below).

(This guy is better than you).
Those nylon leggings, like black tights that go just past the knee then stop…what is that? it needs to stop whatever it is.
Boots (such a no for girls. All rights are revoked. The only a few people are still allowed to wear boots. Some of which are Jenny Lewis and Charlotte from The Like and any member of The Parson Redheads. There has been too much abuse elsewhere. You’ll be notified on further activities concerning this).
Dressing like a renaissance maid, but from Silverlake, also known as “Silverlake Minstralsies Garb”.
Messenger bags (illustrated below).

Scarves.
Not showering for days.
The thrift stores “I don’t give a fuck look” but really spending over $200 on the outfit.
Rat-tails (illustrated below).

I guess that’s all for now. Maybe I’ll get bored and add more. Until then.
End Scene,
Dan Tana

1 comment
Comments feed for this article
August 30th, 2006 at 1:17 am
Nips Corduroy
Dan Tana,
“Intelligence and judgement are measured by the ability to evaluate relative importances.” It’s one thing to blanket an area and name most everything, but if I’m to continue coming to Indie Schmarm for the filet mignon of cool, I want a more selective, expert analysis.
Nips Corduroy