Dearest Matt Mahaffey:
Do we need to break out the charts & graphs? Do we need to put together a formal presentation to illustrate the brilliant, shimmering majesty that was your band, Self? Yeah, I know Dreamworks got gobbled up by a big old corporate jellyfish, in effect killing your new record before it saw the light of day. But there are other fish in the sea. Fish of the non-jelly variety! Hundreds of labels that would love to unleash the muscle-bound musical stallions that you and I both know you are the only man capable of riding! Still not sure?

OK, here’s a little ditty you cooked up in the lab called “Wednesday Again.” I hope it helps convince you to get back in the saddle.

Wednesday Again

We’re counting on you, Matt. (And by “we” I mean THE ENTIRE WORLD.) Save us.

Sincerely,
Torquil Crossingham

(Those of you eavesdropping on this very private and personal letter to Matt should go to www.selfies.com. And you should keep your nose out of my business. Unless you’re a cute girl. Then your nose has full clearance to enter my business. Not that I’m sexist. I dunno. I’m done.)